Understand Uniqueness: Being Yourself Amidst Gender Equality

As a psychologist working with children and adolescents, I often hear how societal expectations—including those based on gender—shape the way they see themselves and the world around them. Many young people feel pressured to conform to these standards, sometimes at the expense of their own feelings and true identity.

This article is written by a young adolescent who wants to share their thoughts on gender expectations and equality—how they have experienced them, the challenges they have faced, and their reflections on the world around them. This article written by Komang Isyana Diva Savitri. Diva is a junior high school student who has “High Potential” ability and amazing critical thinking with social issues topics. Not only about social issues, Diva also has a strong interest in various topics such as art, science, psychology, chemistry, music, sports, and so on. She has many talents to be proud of.

Under my guidance and responsibility as a psychologist, this piece preserves the authentic voice of the writer, offering insight into the perspectives of today’s youth. Due to the depth and breadth of the original writing, I have selected key parts to feature in this article. The full piece explores various aspects, including the influence of the online industry, historical and cultural perspectives, gender roles in the workplace, school, and family dynamics. If you are interested in reading the complete version, feel free to reach out to me via email at [email protected].

I hope this article serves as a reminder for all of us to better understand and support adolescents in their journey of self-discovery, free from the constraints of limiting expectations. Enjoy!

[Syntia Agung Liana Puspita, M.Psi., Psikolog]

Understand Uniqueness

Written by: Komang Isyana Diva Savitri (Grade 7th)

We all have heard about genders, right? The main genders are Male and Female. Well of course there would be flaws of each human being that has gotten that certain gender since of their difference in mental and physical situation and health. Sadly in these past generations the Expectations of each gender is absolute garbage. Having to be as skinny as a plankton as a female. Having to be built like a professional boxer as a male. This has been around our world for decades even!

But now it’s gotten worse to the point where it ruins their mental health. In 2024 mainly on social media, there have been multiple standards to obtain to not be bullied, doxxed, and even harassed. There has been multiple reports of people committing suicide because of this. The suicide rate has gotten higher this year. 15.2 deaths out of 100,000 in males [Source: National Policies Chiefs’ Councils]

Online Industry

Social media has gotten to the reality world, people bullying males liking something that is considered feminine and females being bullied because of liking something that’s too male like. Which is horrible because it could lead them to depression, and even taking their own life. To the people who like or use social media, I know you’ve seen this too.

Cyber bullying isn’t easy to take to some people as it depends on their mental stability. Some people are overly sensitive and take those comments seriously, changing their unique appearance to satisfy the viewers. Putting pressure on both genders to look like the ideal image of them is not a way to help them.  In Tiktok, I have seen a lot of people suggesting products that would help “lose fat” or help with “gut improvement” when it isn’t even true or barely shows any result, and wastes people’s money.

An example of the product I have been writing about is “Blo*m”. These “superfoods” don’t work as magically as it has been stated on their website. This is called “powdered greens”. Powdered greens are a diet supplement, giving you the recommended vitamins and minerals daily intake found in vegetables and superfood. These things do not have any bad side effects, but it is not worth the money. I’d say the price range is USD $15-$90. Some of the products have been warned by the FDA.

Now please if you do consider buying this product, I will state again in my opinion that this is not a worth-it product to purchase, since it has also been said by multiple professionals that this product is not that good for you in meanings of not showing a lot of difference in gut health  and bloating. A lot of  influencers have been PAID to promote this product, over exaggerating its purposes to make it look like it’s a “Life-changing product” for you as viewers to consume. This is a way of manipulating your audience to buy the product so their body would look more “ideal” or “appealing”.

Another problem that has been spreaded around in social media mainly Tiktok, is both gender hating on each other (kind of a strong language to say but I don’t know how else to state it) for example “If my girl won’t look fit, I don’t want her” and for males “If my man isn’t rich, I don’t want him” you can search it up on Tiktok if you want. Even in some videos of like men showing off their muscular body and then girls commenting “looked at my bf and sighed”. And also males doing that when a girl posts a video showing her fit body and then the males commenting “looked at my girl and sighed”

Now this is high standards, saying that females have to be this and then this to be even considered to date and same thing as males. 

You don’t have to be rich to get women. You don’t have to look fit to get boys.

Another problem on social media being targeted mostly on women is this thing called “wonyoungism”. Wonyoung is a popular K-pop idol that is loved for her looks etc. Her fans have decided to make an account on Tiktok, to tell you how to look like her. But they are all not good for your body,  as a person who has experienced this sort of thing since I did not have a good awareness at that time.

They make you starve yourself and work out multiple times a day. Some people have been hospitalized or gotten sick because of this “diet” so they could obtain it. So they would fit the standard and will be liked by men by their looks and body figure. 

For men, there is this thing called “booktok” where mostly females are in booktok, but they sexualise and force men to be like those people in those 18++ books. Having to have an amazing body figure to be liked by women, having to be rich like a billionaire, having to get this and that.

Making them insecure about how they look, as in a more psychological way their mind starts to wander off and overthink that if they don’t match these standards they would be hated by women. AND TO BE MAFIAS hello??? This is insanity. 

Now let’s get back to the old days.

Being skinny as a woman has been here for ages, around in the 1920’s it has been considered something attractive towards male. Since it makes them look small and petite meanwhile the male seems more muscular and dominant. It was to the fact they had made parasitic worms in pills, so women could get skinnier

These were some of the ads, women have been advertised. 

This is highly dangerous towards your organs, since tape worms would eat all the nutritions you need and can lead to digestive problems, less appetite , and an upset stomach. The theory of this “diet” is that when you swallow a tapeworm (usually in pills) it can help with a large amount of weight loss, and after you have reached your desired body look, you will take an “antiparasitic pill” and kill the tapeworm. It was very risky since a tape worm could grow up to 9 meters long, and can cause other problems including epilepsy, eye problem, dementia, etc.  

Just so men will like them and they would fit into society, it really isn’t much different from this generation to their generation…right? As for men in the old days, they didn’t get a lot of strict rules, or things they have to achieve to look ideal, they were superior at that time. It was said that the wives of those men had to obey every order. And the husband can punish the wife freely, for example whipping his OWN wife. And these were in the early 1800’s to the 1900’s.

It really shows the inequality between these 2 genders right? A women having to obey every man’s word and has to be in perfect ideal shape. But the man does little to nothing, just work? Freely abusing his wife or even wives. 

Who knows? 
But thankfully, in 1972 the ERA (Equal Rights Amendment) which was in congress for 5 decades (50 years) was finally passed and sent to the states for ratification.  Their statement was simple, but helped people’s lives: “Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.” -ERA.

I will state this once again. Be. Yourself. You are perfect just the way you are. And this gender equality has been a large problem since the very old days. I should say it’s older than maybe your dad, but now it’s modernized. This affects a lot of people and I want to remind you, as a human being.

It is okay having flaws, everyone has flaws. No one is born perfect and people in social media is something you should ignore if you know it’s negative. Please take care of your mental and physical health and be who you want to be. 

It doesn’t matter on looks, it doesn’t matter on wealth.

The one thing that matters is your passion, your loyalty, your kindness, your respect to make it easier. It matters on your personality.